Cream pudding using tofu

 Avoiding a recent disaster, I returned to tweak my longstanding recipe (instant pudding mix + extra firm silken tofu). It came out really good, without that tofu flavor assaulting you. It's noon and I've already eaten it as a filling in 2 pieces of pie.

The addition of flavored extract helps negate the tofu aftertaste that was bugging me. The addition of fat improves mouthfeel and makes it more dessert-like.

Formula

• 1 box instant pudding mix
• 2 tsp flavored extract
• 2 tbs melted butter or margarine
• 4 oz coconut milk
• 1 block of extra firm silken tofu

Drain the tofu. Put everything in a bowl and blend it together until it's totally smooth. That's it.

Yesterday I used vanilla pudding mix and coconut extract in this recipe. I toasted some coconut to sprinkle on top. It was definitely better the next day.

Beans + Brownie Mix + Wine + Colace = Healthy, Easy Dessert

Social media is buzzing with a new fad of making brownies with just a box of brownie mix and a can of beans. I've been hesitating to try it because it sounds too good to be true, but after 392 people say something is healthy, easy and good, it makes me curious.

Basically, they say you can simply puree a can of black beans, stir in boxed brownie mix, bake as normal, and have delicious results.

And that is true, if you like demi dolce brownies. Demi dolce is a beautiful thing, say for some Italian dessert recipes. It's also great for brownies, if you like your brownies tough and 10% satisfying to eat.

You have to tread lightly when making a dessert healthy. If you take it too far to the healthy side, you could wind up unsatisfied when eating it, and eating larger portions.

I can attest to this, because I've got a fibrous black bean mass living in my colon right now that would undoubtedly show up on x-rays. I may need to have it surgically removed.

This recipe is:

• easy
• cheap
• a great thing to bring to a potluck, if you want to never be invited again
• chocolatey, in the sense that it's the color, but not the flavor of chocolate
• dense, not in a good way
• chewy, if you like to gnaw on a rawhide dog toy
• a waste of good ingredients that didn't deserve this fate
• a crime against your stomach
• banned in some countries

Ingredients

• 1 box brownie mix (I used an 18 ounce box.)
• 1 can no salt black beans 
• wine, to taste
• 2-3 capsules of over-the-counter stool softener

Instructions

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
2. Grease a 13 " x 9 " pan.
3. Pour the wine into your favorite drinking glass.
4. Pour the can of beans into a large mixing bowl.
5. Use your stick blender to puree them until smooth.
6. Take a break to get a sip of wine and pat yourself on the back for cracking the code of secretly healthy brownies.
7. Pour the brownie mix into the mixing bowl.
8. Do not smell the batter. (You were warned.)
9. Weep because of the crime you just committed.
10. Stir vigorously until well blended. This will be a workout because you're basically mixing something the consistency of grout.
11. Realize you have just made a huge error in judgement making this recipe, take 4 more sips of wine, and go all in.
12. Pour the concoction into the baking pan. Work quickly, because the batter will thicken by the second as it evolves before your eyes into a sentient, malevolent being. Here is an actual photo of the batter before malevolence took hold.
    
13. Bake for as long as it says on the box. Ignore the moans and screams coming from the oven as you bake it.
14. Hold your breath, check the monstrosity and realize it is still rare and still making monster noises. Bake for another 10 minutes to kill it. (I say hold your breath because the smell is nasty. It smells exactly like brownies baking in your neighbor's oven, if your neighbor lives 3 doors down, and you are baking old socks and used tires in your oven.)

At this point, you'll need to slam 2-3 more glasses of wine, wait until the alcohol kicks in, and eat a warm brownie. You'll be half drunk, and it will be marginally edible while it's warm. 

After it's cooled, you'll feel as though you are chewing on my garbage can's wheel.

Use a large steak knife to saw it into pieces. Don't let the flatness of the brownie fool you into thinking it's easy to cut. It didn't rise, so it's way more dense than you think. And again, I don't mean that in a good way.

Now swallow 2-3 stool softener capsules to digest the puck. Sleep in a separate room from your partner that night because you are going to stink up the room with your bean batter farts.

Alternatives

I have heard of people using a mix of blonde brownie mix and a can of white beans to make this recipe. They are the same type of liars that told me you could make the chocolate ones, and I hope they all have itchy tags in all shirts they buy for the rest of their lives.

I have heard of some people not using the liquid from the bean can and instead replacing it with water. Let's face it, this recipe is not good enough to bother trying that.

Aquafaba English Pancakes

I tried these today. I used black salt instead of table salt to give it a slight eggy taste. This resulted in a really strong sulfur smell, so I added a bunch of nutmeg (another eggy sort of flavor), a pinch of cinnamon and 2 tbs of sugar. The sulfur smell went away and the flavor was definitely in the background.

These were totally awesome and easy to make. Try them!

https://avirtualvegan.com/vegan-english-pancakes/

Unbelievably delicious DIY instant vegan soup

I threw this together today and wanted to share. So easy, and it didn't need refrigeration!

If you don't know, TVP stands for textured vegetable protein. It is a soy product. It comes in chunks (like ground beef) or strips (like beef strips).

Ingredients:

1/2 brick of ramen noodles without seasoning packet
1 tbs miso
1 tbs chopped green onion
1/2 vegetarian bullion cube
sriracha, to taste
3/4 cup TVP strips
1 1/2 cups water

How to pack this lunch:

Put the TVP in the bottom of a portable soup cup. Add the rest of the ingredients except for the water.

How to heat it up:

Add hot water, ensuring the TVP and noodles are covered. Let sit for about 15 minutes until TVP and noodles are soft. Stir.

Carrabas

My omnivore dining partners have always been happy with their meals at Carrabas.

Having said that, if you're vegetarian, you may find the menu to be very limited for you. Here is my recent experience (August 2017).

Given the fact that Italian cuisines are rich in vegetarian options, I was expecting to have a few choices. There were a few appetizers, like fried zucchini and bruschetta. I was hungry and wanting an entree. There was no eggplant, heartier pasta dishes, cheese ravioli--nothing at all like that.

I spoke with the server, who asked if I eat seafood or pork. I said no.

She pointed out they only offered either pizza or one other vegetarian entree--pasta with stewed tomatoes, garlic and oil. It was a special occasion and I didn't want pizza, so I ordered the pasta, already disappointed. The server suggested "building my own pasta" which, she explained, was ordering sauteed vegetables to go on top with it.  I ordered mushrooms.

The server let me know they did not have any vegetarian salad dressings--only Italian dressing. She said all others have meat in them. I was really surprised by that!

The pasta arrived with what seemed to be an entire box of linguine with 1 single button mushroom sliced thinly. It was ok but I am not a fan of large chunks of raw garlic in anything.

So to summarize, my dining partner freaking loved his meat entree. (I was wishing they would have offered that same entree with a portobello or eggplant instead of meat. I can actually think of hundreds of other ideas that would not be costly or difficult for them to pull off.) My meal turned out to be vegan. Even though that wasn't my goal (except for dessert, of course), it's always a bonus. My meal consisted of meh bread with the saltiest olive oil dip known to Man, a cocktail that tasted like Robitussin, a meh glass of wine, enough pasta to feed a family without much else in it, and an excellent slice of ricotta cheesecake.

I know it is totally the restaurant's decision what to put on their menu, and it's totally my choice to patronize that place or not. It never ceases to surprise me though, that restaurant owners don't have a smidge more to offer the 10%+ of its customers who influence whether their party goes to a particular restaurant. I know I can (and did) "get by" by finding something edible on any menu, but honestly, I'm not going to return if it doesn't taste good. It's just not worth the money and effort of going out.

Gardein Fishless Filet

Another win for Gardein! Applause!

The batter is made of tapioca starch, resulting in a beer battered type texture--light and crispy. The filet itself meets my requirements--tasty, reminiscent of a comfort food, but doesn't taste too much like meat.

The Gardein website suggests fish tacos--I'm definitely going to try that.

Happy Meatless Monday!

Creamsicle smoothie!

98 degrees and hot flashes. Necessity is the mother of invention!

I blended about 2 tablespoons of orange juice concentrate with 2/3 cup soymilk, a teaspoon of vanilla extract and 1.5 cups of soymilk. Fantastic!

Nutrition and Cancer Prevention

Truvia pear pie

I used my standard apple pie recipe from Betty Crocker's cookbook and substituted Truvia brown sugar blend and pears. I followed the Truvia package instructions to substitute the sweetener.

Win!  It really tastes good. The Truvia site says their apple pie recipe contains 70% less sugar and 20% less calories than the sugared variety.

Solar Freakin Roadways

If you care about reducing animal injuries and environmental issues, this is a must watch. Seriously. Watch this.

EDIT: This technology has come under quite a bit of scrutiny, so here's a place to start.

Easy Mediterranean Lunch Salad

1 can of chic peas
1 beefsteak tomato
1 medium cucumber
1 tbs fresh mint
juice of 1/2 a lemon
dash of ground cumin
1 garlic clove
8 oz drained yogurt (plain) [can be made with fat-free or vegan yogurt if you wish]
salt and pepper

Drain your beans. Meanwhile, dice the tomato and drain.

Separately, dice the cucumber and mix in the salt. Set aside for 10 minutes, then pour off the juice.  Add the yogurt, pepper, and cumin. Crush the garlic and julienne the mint. Mix everything together.

Eat as a salad or sandwich filling.

Easter Menu!

It was dinner for two today, so I didn't want to be overstuffed and left with too many leftovers.  Everything came out well.  I had eggplant in my main course, as a nod to the holiday. ;)

Bevande

Rum Sour

Antipasti

Deviled Eggs

Primi

Lasagna Alla Norma

Secondi

Stuffed Peppers

Dolce

Italian Pastries

My lazy, accidentally vegan, unbutton-your-pants Thanksgiving dinner!

Welcome to another one of my post-holiday bragging sessions! ;)

I didn't get to have my usual homemade Thanksgiving dinner, so I woke up this morning, a day off ahead, and wanting it for breakfast.  I threw together what I had on hand, and then realized, heck, this is vegan--a little bonus!

I had store bought mashed potatoes and pie.

I made some homemade cranberry sauce--so easy and perfect.

I drained a can of yams, added a blend of brown sugar, spices and melted margarine I made in the microwave.  Done.

I had cornbread stuffing mix--done, obviously.

I made some gravy from margarine, flour, bouillon, milk (use whatever type of milk or cream you like) and fresh herbs.  Done.

Sheesh, this meal is looking awfully starchy.  Hmm.  What can I add that has more protein?  I had some frozen beans.

Before I go on--frozen pinto beans!  I've recently discovered these and they are so convenient.  Nothing added, just cooked beans that you can sprinkle in your dishes in whatever sized portions you like.  You can even throw them on a salad you're packing for lunch and they'll be defrosted by the time you eat.

Ok, back to the meal.  This was actually a really lazy way to make beans.  To a baking pan, I added margarine, salt, pepper, cumin, diced onions, a carrot, beans, a dash of siracha sauce, and nonalcoholic beer.  Threw that in the oven to let the liquids cook down.  When it was done, I just mixed it with my hand blender until it had the consistency of loose refried beans. 

The beans tasted awesome with gravy on them.  Sounds weird to me, but sometimes when you have cravings, the belly wants what it wants--and you might think of an awesome idea if you listen to it!  I was pretty shocked to see how easy it was to flavor them to complement the rest of the traditional meal.

After they baked for a while, I added the rest of the stuff to the oven to warm it up.

I cannot believe how awesome everything tasted, and it was all so easy!

Roasted tofu sandwich

Had a delicious lunch of roasted tofu and plantain in a wrap!  I sliced the tofu and coated it lightly in olive oil and chipotle sauce, then sliced a very ripe plantain lengthwise and coated it in the same manner.  Then I salted and peppered it all, and baked in for 20 minutes in a 400 degree oven.  So good!

Restaurant Review: Loving Hut

Believe it or not, I had never been to a vegetarian restaurant before today!

I had the Spicy Cha-Cha which was like breaded shrimp over lettuce and red/green bell peppers.  It had a spicy-sweet dipping sauce.  It was very tasty--very much like shrimp except milder.  (I appreciated that it had less of that strong seafood flavor like shrimp has--some of the "imitation meats" are too similar to meat for my taste.) 

I had a refreshing glass of hibiscus iced tea.  This is destined to become my new favorite drink.  It has a tangy flavor like cranberry, which contrasts nicely with its sweetness.

My non-vegetarian dining partner had a sweet and sour stir fry with cubed, battered soy protein.  He said it was good, even though he was really resistant to eating at a vegan place.  He mentioned he does not like tofu but ordered this instead of going for one of the "beefy" dishes.  Afterwards, he told me he did not realize he was ordering something that might be similar to tofu.  Again, he said he liked it but he wasn't gaga over it either, only because of the protein.  We plan to head back so he can try one of the beef-alikes.

It is extremely clean and a peaceful place to eat a casual meal.  The staff is quite friendly.

Here is their website.  Give it a try!

Verdict:  Excellent!

Healthy summer drinks

I'm trying to cut down on sugar intake and increase liquids*, and I'm getting really sick of water.  Sooo...I've been experimenting and here's a few successes:

• 1 slice of lemon, 1 slice of lime, ice and club soda (refreshing but not sicky sweet)
• 1 slice of orange, a few slices of cucumber, ice and water
• a few shots of espresso (decaf works too), creamer, and crushed ice blended (frozen coffee drink!)
• dash of vanilla extract, club soda and ice (less sweet version of cream soda)
• Zevia ginger root beer

I'm planning to try making a stevia version of horchata too!
_______
*Why, you ask?  Well besides the fact that it's summer....I moved to the low desert and I'm not feeling as thirsty as I should be.  Apparently humidity makes you feel thirstier.  I'm trying to push myself to drink more until I adjust. This also explains why I'm into horchata all of a sudden. :D

Restaurant Review: Cantina Laredo

Here's my quick take on this restaurant, as it pertains to vegetarians.

Homemade chips and salsa were complimentary and were very good.  We were given both a mild and a medium salsa to try.  I liked the latter.  Both did contain cilantro.

For around $8 we got an order of guacamole made at the table.  The menu said it served 2-4, but with 2 avocados that would mean very large serving sizes of the calorie-rich dip.  We were asked if we wanted tomatoes and onions.  I don't remember being asked if we wanted cilantro--which would have been preferable, since I don't care for it.  It was very noisy so I may have just missed the question.  The guac was delicious and we had to bring the rest home with us.  We were given an extra bag full of warm, homemade tortilla chips to bring home with it.

On the dinner menu, I found 2 choices clearly marked vegetarian on the menu.  One was a spinach enchilada with Jack cheese (vegetarian); the other was an avocado and artichoke enchilada over a bed of spinach (which sounded vegan).

I was wondering how the avocado/artichoke enchilada could be served over spinach--doesn't "enchilada" mean "in chile"--in other words, dipped in chile sauce?  That entree did sound better to me, but I didn't want to have more avocado, so I chose the spinach enchilada.

hmmm.  It was ok.  The filling was rather bland.  There seemed to be no chile in sight; it was covered in a sauce that I'd liken to a thinned out version of sour cream--way too much for my liking.  The menu said there were mushrooms in the filling but I couldn't find any.

It was served with some flavorful rice and black beans on the side, kind of standard-tasting.  I do appreciate the menu marking what was vegetarian, and for making the effort to include 2 meat-free options on the menu.  I would suggest, perhaps, the restaurant offer a more standard Mexican item on the menu that's meat-free, to widen the choices for those of us who love spicy stuff.

The staff was friendly, the atmosphere was fun, and the restaurant was spotless.

Quorn Chik'n Cutlets

As you may remember, I've had mixed experiences with "fake meat" products.

Today I tried a Quorn brand product for the first time:  "Chik'n Cutlets".

I'm pleased to report they met all my criteria:

• Reasonably priced
• Doesn't taste too much like meat
• Doesn't have a weird taste or texture
• Not too difficult to make

I made a gravy with vegetarian broth and warmed the cutlets in the gravy in a 425 degree oven for about 15 minutes.   I had them with vegetables, potatoes and stuffing.

VERDICT: Good comfort food for a subzero day!

My Xmas Eve Menu

Here it is!  This year I knew I had to make most things ahead or at the last minute, because I didn't have the afternoon free to do my usual cooking marathon.

Several days before, I made the marinated mushrooms.

The day before, I made deviled eggs, crudites, tomato sauce and allrecipes.com's Two Ingredient Pumpkin Cake.  I used Betty Crocker's Gingerbread Cake & Cookie Mix and a small can of pumpkin puree.  I have a personal tradition of making gingerbread cookies and I didn't want to go without them just because I couldn't take the afternoon off...so I came up with this instead.  I am so glad I did.  While the cake doesn't have the cute factor the  decorated gingerbread people do, it's hardly a sacrifice taste-wise.  Maybe this will become my new tradition.

Before you make this, I highly recommend you read the comments posted below the recipe.  I followed the recommendation to add 2 eggs and a little sugar.  I also added my usual extra spices, and a splash of bourbon.  I topped it with one of the poster's recipe for a simple glaze made from confectioner's sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon and milk.  I baked it in 4 small, gift-sized loaf pans.  It is the moistest cake ever.  I'm telling you, it is unbelievable!

The hour before, I made everything else.  For me, I made Veggie Patch Meatless Meatballs.  These are fully cooked, so all you have to do is heat them up.   I don't know why, but I don't think I've ever tried these in spaghetti--what a treat!

For the cheese course, I followed Pillsbury's recipe for Baked Brie with Raspberry Preserves, except I added chopped pecans and almonds.  I omitted the cinnamon stick.

I cut the brie recipe in half so I had extra crescent rolls.  I used a rolling pin to flatten them a bit and sealed the perforations.  Then I spread margarine in them and sprinkled some Parmesan cheese and chopped basil.  Sliced into coins, they were little buttery pinwheels that went nicely with the cold appetizers.

Anyway, back to the brie.  Warm, melty, slightly sweet, creamy, with a flaky crust.  What more could you ask for?  Very good, and different. Lots of compliments!  I am sure puff pastry would be tasty too, but I didn't have time to fuss with that.  The crescents were very tasty and quick.

Then it was on to the Nutella Chess Pie.  I created a recipe involving one of my favorite ingredients--Nutella--into a nice pie reminiscent of warm brownies that aren't quite cooked all the way yet...and you eat them anyway because they are so gooey, fudgy and good.

Well...I'm off to have leftovers of brie and spice cake.  Leftovers that are more HO HO HO than HO HUM!  (OK, I know that was really cheesy! Ha, cheesy!  See what I did there?)

Buon Natale!

Bevande

Cocktails

Antipasti

Marinated Mushrooms ∞ Red & Green Deviled Eggs

Crudités ∞ Basil Pinwheels

Primi

Pasta & Meatballs ∞ Italian Bread with Olive Oil Dip

Secondi

Broiled Shrimp ∞ Broiled Garlic Eggplant

Formaggio

Brie En Croute

Dolce

Nutella Chess Pie ∞ Cookies

Pinto bean burgers and green bean salad

Had the most delicious lunch and I had to share! As many vegetarians, I've been on an endless quest for a homemade veggie burger that doesn't fall apart when you cook it.  This time I tried vital wheat gluten, and it worked great.  I was conservative about the amount because I was worried it would taste too doughy.  It didn't taste that way at all and the burgers were a little too tender.  Next time I'll add more.

These are made from pintos, onion, spices, and vital wheat gluten, then covered in cornmeal and fried.

"Hamburger" shaped rolls were sold out at the store so I had to improvise on the shape of my burgers to fit the "hoagie" rolls.

On the side I have some garlic ginger green beans from the Dinosaur Barbeque Cookbook that I swear taste as good as candy or potato chips. :)