Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread

In a moment of extraordinarily poor judgement, I purchased a jar of Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Flavored Hazelnut Spread.

Or perhaps it was curiosity. Nutella-like goodness swirled with cheesecake? Sign me up.

The cheesecake part is basically cream cheese flavored frosting from a can. Blasphemy.

It's basically sugar with a little flavoring sprinkled on top, but the sprinkling only happens every other Tuesday. The rest of the week, it is just sugary crack.

I can't review the hazelnut part because the taste of the cheesecake crack frosting is drowning out the hazelnut and chocolate flavors.

VERDICT: Crackety.

Gardein Fishless Filet

Another win for Gardein! Applause!

The batter is made of tapioca starch, resulting in a beer battered type texture--light and crispy. The filet itself meets my requirements--tasty, reminiscent of a comfort food, but doesn't taste too much like meat.

The Gardein website suggests fish tacos--I'm definitely going to try that.

Happy Meatless Monday!

Quorn Chik'n Cutlets

As you may remember, I've had mixed experiences with "fake meat" products.

Today I tried a Quorn brand product for the first time:  "Chik'n Cutlets".

I'm pleased to report they met all my criteria:

• Reasonably priced
• Doesn't taste too much like meat
• Doesn't have a weird taste or texture
• Not too difficult to make

I made a gravy with vegetarian broth and warmed the cutlets in the gravy in a 425 degree oven for about 15 minutes.   I had them with vegetables, potatoes and stuffing.

VERDICT: Good comfort food for a subzero day!

Product Review: Jif Chocolate Flavored Hazelnut Spread

Bought a jar of this spread this afternoon.  mmmm.  Nuts, sugar, chocolate--what's not to love?

If you're expecting Nutella, don't.  This does not taste like Nutella.  I do prefer it over this new stuff, which tastes...pistachoey.  But it's still delicious!

I see they're making a mocha version as well.

Product Review: So Delicious Minis

I previously reviewed So Delicious Nog.  This afternoon I had a hankering for some ice cream and decided to try So Delicious Vanilla Mini Ice Cream Sandwiches.

This product has earned its brand name.  It has the comfort factor of the ice cream sandwiches you used to get in your school cafeteria, except somehow more sophisticated.  Very, very good--and at 100 calories, perfection.

Product Review: Morningstar Chikn Grillers

The spell is broken.

I've written before about my love for Morningstar Grillers, breakfast sausage and Buffalo wings.  I was starting to doubt I would ever meet a Morningstar I didn't like.  And then it happened--I tried Chikn Grillers

Out of respect for the brand, I won't go into too much graphic detail.  I didn't care for the flavor, appearance or texture.  I couldn't finish it.

The next day, I happily had a plain ol' Morningstar Griller.

Product Review: Breyer Golden Oreo Ice Cream

I admit I've bought golden Oreos, broken them up and mixed them with ice cream.  I like my ice cream very chunky--more chunks than ice cream actually.

I was wandering the grocery in search of something to soothe my sore throat and my heart jumped when I saw this product.  How could I go wrong?

I didn't read the package very well.  For some reason I had it in my head that it was vanilla ice cream with cookies.  It's not--it's golden Oreo flavored ice cream with cookies mixed in. 

Over the years of excessive ice cream consumption, I've determined I rarely like ice cream that isn't one of 3 flavors--chocolate, coffee or vanilla (ALL beans!).  I like my variety in the form of chunks or sauces.

Somehow Breyer's has managed to make this ice cream itself taste freakishly similar to the cookies.  Now if that's your thang, this ice cream is definitely for you.  I still prefer Breyer's vanilla with lots of cookies.

Product Review: Rite-Aid Peanut Butter Cups

I know, I know--what did I expect? Well what I expected is a nice, smooth store brand peanut butter cup like Walmart used to make. (I can't believe I just plugged Walmart. *hangs head in shame*) Sometimes I want a peanut butter cup with smooth filling instead of crunchy.

For $5 ($7 when not on sale) I thought it would at least be tasty. And it is, if you enjoy eating chocolate candles.

The "chocolate" is actually a light brown waxy substance that would be unidentifiable if eaten blindfolded. The filling did have a faint peanut butter flavor and a nice texture, but certainly not worth the calories.

At least the brand had the smarts to call the product what it is, without making up a sad new name for the item to compete with its hipper, more popular cousin (the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup). I can't say the same for the "chocolate lentils" in the same aisle, which were actually a generic form of M&Ms.

Verdict: Buy a candle instead. You'll enjoy it more.

Product Review: So Delicious Brand Coconut Nog

I am an afficionado of eggnog. I have been ever since I was a young child. I have no idea why; I've always hated drinking milk.

My refusal to drink milk as a kid is the stuff of legends whereby my stubbornness would beat out my parents'. I was raised in the days when it was "good parenting" to tell your kids they could not get up from the table until they finished dinner. This taught me how to be stubborn--stubbornness was a game, I thought--and I became Nobel Laureate of Stubbornness. I slept at the table.

Another common parenting wisdom was to keep serving kids their uneaten dinner for every subsequent meal until the lesson was learned. "They'll eat when they're hungry enough." Uh, no. I refused to eat and hunger did not bother me. As Nobel Laureate of Stubbornness, I was quite willing to become faint just to win the game.

I don't even like the sound of the word milk. When pronounced, it reminds me of exactly why I don't like it. Mi-lll-kkkk, like the slimy feeling in my mouth and throat as it goes down. Yuck.

As you know I drink smoothies quite often, but even then I need a thick, milkshake-like texture. No milk-like drinks for me.

I guess eggnog is more like an milkshake to me. I got a LOT of positive feedback for drinking eggnog! My parents and grandparents were totally thrilled when I drank it, albeit perplexed.

I can't wait for the first eggnog to be available at Byrne Dairy each year. I drink it alone. I drink it with a little spiced rum. I sweeten my espresso with it. If it wouldn't make me literally sick, I'd probably drink it even more often.

Regular eggnog has a lot of sugar and calories, though, and I don't do well with a lot of dairy. I heard about nondairy nog a few years ago and thought it blasphemous. I finally tried it just now.

Wow. So delicious is right! It's awesome and I do not feel as though I'm depriving myself of anything. It's got half the calories of my traditional nog and less sugar. It does have more fat.

Unlike the brand's coffee creamer, this product does have a coconut flavor, which I find pleasing.

Verdict: There's noggin better.

Recipe: Sardine and Peanut Butter Sandwich

Ingredients:

Bread
Jif Omega 3 Peanut Butter

Directions:

Spread peanut butter on bread. Eat.
____________________________________

Sound gross? I totally agree.

New Jif Omega 3 Peanut Butter contains sardines and anchovies. Check the label if you don't believe me!

Product Review: Perry's "Piece of Cake" Ice Cream

I am not a cake lover at all. Most of the time I feel cakes are not even good enough to waste the calories on. Yet about once a year in the winter, I feel like having a yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Even while I'm eating it, I'm thinking, "This isn't good." And yet I am craving it.

I do love ice cream though. Normally I am orthodox about my ice cream shopping. I don't stray from the few brands that don't use artificial ingredients. And yet last night I found this prize:

All in one package, I've got my unorthodox ice cream brand and the flavor of yellow cake with chocolate icing. Not only that, but the icing tastes exactly like the one from the can (which I never eat, even when I'm having the annual weird craving).

And yet it's strangely satisfying. It has a few tiny cubes of yellow cake. The ice cream flavor itself is the perfect interpretation of yellow cake made from a box mix, and like I said, the frosting is the frozen version of canned frosting.

What do I have to say for myself? I'm embarrassed...and not.

mmmm.... yummy mono- and diglycerides, cellulose gum, guar gum, carrageenan, and dextrose....